Raising another human being is indeed an enormous responsibility. The experience is not only compelling but is also very sacred. It is testing at every turn. No parent intentionally sets out to be bad at parenting. There is no real road map or formula to parenting, raising consciousness and well-behaved children. Children learn from what they see, from what they observe. A large number of lives have been harmed, and many children have been scarred for life, for poor decisions taken by their parents or their behaviour.
Removing the guilt, pressure and fear from parenting is essential, we that is not done, then unconsciously parental influence can indeed harm the child.
We are how we were raised, we are products of our upbringing, and therefore it is essential to understand our shortcomings and our insecurities so that we can take appropriate measures to better ourselves, be conscious of ourselves and raise better children.
Uncovering your cultural conditioning is essential. Understanding why you behave the way you do is the first step towards being a better parent. When children come into our lives, they are their authentic self, and however, with time, they begin to learn from parents, cultural rules and beliefs start forming their thinking. Parents may not realize this, but they could have unconscious expectations of what success is, and when their expectations are not met, the children start feeling guilt, fear and shame.
The battle of Egos is real. It’s not about powerplay that stems from narcissism, but it’s a version of you that you have created to escape any negativity. This should come in to play, and you should release ownership of your child, and let them become the best version of themselves, rather than what you want for them. The battle of the Egos is when you start feeling that ‘Your way is the right way,’ ‘you are the teacher, and they are your students,’ you are right, and they are wrong.’ Each individual is different. Children come with their personalities, and they have a mind of their own, burdening them with your ideas can only be detrimental in the long run. Often you may want what you couldn’t achieve for your child to do, and this idolized version can be extremely pressurizing both for yourself and your children. When you start pressurizing your kids to do something that they may not want to do, it may be because you have not received the fulfilment from your parents. Ego should be released, and mutual respect should be the new paradigm. Growing together is vital, you need to understand that the child has come into your life so that you can grow spiritually and become a better human being.
You need to know that parenting is more about being there than actually doing things. You have to be present. If you are not there to bond with your children emotionally, they will not feel fulfilled. Children learn to be acknowledged for who they truly are. Children have three core needs:
Am I Seen?
Am I worthy?
Do I matter?
Let the fear go, release the pressure, and put your ego on standby. Parenting is not rocket science, but even the smallest misdemeanour can change a life forever. Be conscious of yourself, how you behave, what you say and how you make your kids feel and you can raise conscious, happy and healthy kids. You should make an appointment with Hermeet Singh Suri (HOM, BSc., RHN, Epigeneticist) at The Homeopathic Plus Centre to learn how the natural and right way of life can help provide your child with a fulfilling childhood.